Our painful triggers can be sturdy stepping stones to greater awareness and love.
Two days ago I was triggered. By something I saw on social media (scroll, scroll, SURPRISE!).
Immediately I started thinking – “why didn’t I receive what I desired in this situation, but someone else did?”
My mind started racing to find the answer, to boil it down to “Am I good enough?”
It took me a moment, but eventually I realized: my task is not to understand why others choose what they do. Nor is it my task to equate their choices to my self-worth.
And then I remembered who I was.
Who I was and who I am is how I consistently show up to life, in every moment, in every relationship, in every situation, both comfortable and uncomfortable, day by day by day by day.
Over time this adds up to our character, the energy we embody, and the effect we have on others. It matters. We’re all connected in this web of life. What you send out into the universe will come back to you in return. It’s not just a code of morality. It is (energetic) law.
I reflected back on how I showed up in this situation that did not go the way I had hoped. It was really hard to show up with love. But I did.
I consistently chose kindness and compassion. That kindness was sometimes reflected back to me in moments of gratitude and appreciation, in the ways that the person involved knew how, but not in the ways that I was desiring to truly manifest for my intimate connections. For that, I took my distance.
I created space for other connections to come in that would match my energy. I wasn’t going to take for granted the love I had to give, I was going to set compassionate boundaries and cultivate love where I know it can really flourish. Where I know I will be unconditionally understood, supported, cheered on, forgiven – because that’s what I’m offering.
Looking back, I can smile, I can feel the power of the love that I gave – that I’m still capable of giving.
Maybe that love was what inspired this person to give it back to another. That’s a beautiful idea.
What if we’re all just inspiring one another to be more open-hearted?
With that higher perspective, I can move forward knowing that I carry myself in this world with big love, even if its not immediately reciprocated in the ways that I hope, or from the people I wish to receive it from.
I move with this mantra:
I act as a reflection of my character and nobody else’s.
Allow this mantra to be a reminder, a living prayer. Allow it to help you embrace your triggers as the stepping stones that lead you out of the shadows.
Choose to show up from the deep knowing of who you are. Walk in the grace of your love, of your connection to the whole. Embody the love you have to give without conditions, without expectations, but stay only where it will be healthfully cultivated.
May you be proud of who you are in every moment, and may you forgive yourself for those moments when you forget who you are.
May you be called towards ever-changing horizons to share your expanding love, to offer your unique gifts, and to activate more hearts who recognize themselves in your divine expression.
May you be loved, and may you be loving.